Confucian ideology has been embedded in the Chinese cultural development throughout its history. Under Confucianism, filial piety is the most virtuous of the human conducts, in that it is considered the vessel that will bring peace and stability to families as well as nations, if performed properly. This essay seeks to understand the difference between the demands of filial piety between men and women. Although it seems obvious to many of us that opportunities for women were limited, because China has preserved patrilinear family system historically, it is not so straightforward when the demands for both gender are compared through historical texts. Even the role reversal was acceptable at the mercy of emphasizing women's duties as they play different roles in their lives. The premise of this essay is that although the physical demands that the fulfillment of filial piety brought into women's lives differed from that of men, the principle behind this discrepancy actually benefited women as influential beings not only domestically but nationally. Women's influence as mothers, wives, and sisters-in-law under the roof of a single household echoed outward, further affecting the lives and moral conducts of men in the society. It was power unique to the Chinese women who never had to leave the house and still could influence the society as a whole. In this essay, I will illustrate the way in which historical texts, Book of Filial Piety and Book of Filial Piety for Women, support this premise as they upheld the moral standards for men and women.

Unconditional sacrifice for other family members was required for women, while men enjoyed the luxury of philosophical concentration on themselves. Because women were required to serve the family, a house as a physical being was under female dominance, as shown in Ronald Knapp's China's Living Houses. Men were considered virtuous if he developed himself by studying, which necessitated his absence, and it was left to women in the house to take care of the household, children, servants, and the elders. Given that the marital family was considered her real family, the demand for filial piety on that woman was rather strange; men's filial piety is to serve and love his own parents from whom he "received his body, hair, and skin" while the wife was usually a total stranger to the husband's family with exceptions of kinship marriages. This explains the reason for more emphasis on serenity, compassion, and obedience in discussing society's demand for women's filial piety: "they put others first and themselves last in order to serve their parents-in-law." But was this requirement for further sacrifice disadvantageous for women? The answer depends on how one looks at the situation. Under Confucianism, it is more virtuous if one never mentions of his/her good deeds, accomplishments, or complements from others. In other words, he/she has to be humble. Additionally, Buddhism emphasizes the perfecting of oneself by discarding every day needs based on animal instinct. Even in the Twenty-Four Paragons of Filial Piety that we encountered in the book by Knapp, all situations occur within the house where physically limited old parents' demands get fulfilled by the son and the daughter-in-law. However, men hoped to accomplish honorary positions to brighten his family name and neighborhood outside the house while women were the ones in constant interactions with her husband's parents. This is why "[a wife] sets an example of rectitude and virtue, and her husband enthusiastically copies it." To understand the complexity behind this role reversal, that is, as women becoming more virtuous beings comparable to a king while men were compared to people, further examination of this text seems necessary.

Striking contrast between the two books bespeaks the different societal demands on two genders regarding filial piety. Whether a man or a woman composed the Book of Filial Piety for Women is unknown to us, but the fact that it survived seems to indicate its validity in the eyes of both men and women. Under the section on 'Bringing Order Through Filial Piety,' historical kings conveying harmony through filial piety is compared with equal importance to the filial deeds of virtuous women. With the similar parallelism, former kings are compared to the parents-in-law – which could have meant mother-in-law only since a wife is a king, and the world to the nine relations. For men, the word "world" should be taken literally, while the "world" of the women was the house: ninth degree relatives are large enough entity to explain the entire "world" for women. Regardless of the author's gender, it seems the purpose of this book for women was to provide a perception of a household as a microcosm of the state. Women should be as savvy as kings when dealing with household affairs.

The structure of each dialogue is also intriguing, in that each section ends with a saying or a poem that summarizes the precept, supporting the premise of this essay. They are mystifying because deeper meaning that relates the story to the message is subtle. For example, 'Rule of the Sages,' which corresponds to 'Wisdom' for women, tells a story about a sage who followed the natural affection and basic morals to serve his parents. Interestingly, the corresponding story for women is about Lady Fan who admonished the king of the prime minister's self-interest and spread the justice and brought the demolition of the ignorant and hypocritical politician. It is understandable that the ladies' story intentionally avoided the issue about serving parents that the sage most definitely emphasized because the relationships getting compared here is father-son relationship to that of husband and wife. However, the puzzling part is the quotes at the end. Sage story ends with a quote, "The good man, the true gentleman, his deportment is impeccable." Corresponding quote for the ladies is "When the language is harmonious, the people will be united." These two quotations seemingly carry difference at the surface, yet the meaning under it is quite well matched. For men, if he is genuinely gentle, his deportment becomes a display of his sage-hood. Similarly, if a woman is truly wise, her language will represent her wisdom, which will be used to bring harmony to the family to which she belongs. Therefore, men need to focus on serving their parents to better themselves while women's focus should be to attain wisdom to better the family rather than women themselves. Although these two stories seemed strikingly different initially, upon scrutiny, they signify the underlying theme of the contrasts between these two books: women and men have fundamentally different roles in the society. It is my speculation that women would not have been considered a sage even if she were eminently virtuous. Hence, wisdom was emphasized for women. This speculation reverberates the premise that women's self-development behind the scene was greater than that of men's because for men to be contributive to the harmony, they needed to serve their parents well. This is different because women's contribution was determined only by their own wisdom.

The discrepancies between the demands of filial piety between men and women, as well as the way women were supposed to influence their husbands, are embedded throughout these two books. When describing offences that are the causes of five punishments, "the most heinous is lack of filial piety" for men while it is jealousy for women. Men's road to chaos includes his neglect of parents, sages, and rulers, compared to women who had to be cautious of their emotions and senses. This seems to parallel Western civilization's underlying perception of misogyny that accused women of being emotional and irrational. Accordingly, women's task to avoid these punishments is the provision of advices to men and by being patient about his affection for concubines who are needed to provide sons. In order to keep harmony within the household, women need to "fine [the husband's] deportment and appearance." This seemingly self-sacrificing task is a tool for Chinese women to perpetuate their names as virtuous men's wives. Chinese culture of crediting women of men's success is hinted in the quotation above: when her husband is perfected as a sage whose deportment is impeccable, there is always a woman behind him whose contribution is significant.

Another way that women achieved this behind-the-veil success was through childbearing. Apparently, this function as a mother required different outlook for women on her life that no man could imagine. It seems as if because men could not enjoy this privilege of motherhood, they were given a secure place in the society. Although this biological obligation for women as mothers gave the majority of women no choice but to be considered as bodily objects, on the other hand, a woman could brighten her name, as well as secure her future life, by being a mother, especially that of a son. This argument is supported by two sections of these books. First one is the book on 'Mutual Interaction,' which teaches the paying of reverence to the elders. The corresponding book for women is entitled 'Prenatal Education,' which advocates the importance of educating a fetus in a woman's womb. These two topics seem irrelevant at first, but the parallelism becomes more distinctive as the teaching unfolds. Men's filial piety is their means to reach the spirits and perpetuate the men's names. Similarly, for women, children are their means to influence the outer world when "[the children's] talent and virtue surpassed that of others." The second evidence is displayed following these two teachings where 'Serving the Ruler' is compared to 'Maternal Proprieties.' This correlation seems to rely on the fact that the motherly nurturance results in filiality from the children: "A mother nurtures her child with affection[ci] and a child serves his mother with filiality[xiao]." Therefore, the parallelism is drawn where the man of honor serving his ruler with his heart is compared to a mother nurturing her child with all her soul. Both these relationships are reciprocal in that the inferior admonishes his superior while the teaching is descended the other way around, and a mother's nurturance and fine education leaves her name to the future generations by means of her son's success. This idea is embedded in the quotation at the end of the teaching: "Instruct and advise your children so that they come to resemble you."

I recollect being quite awed by the picture of a daughter-in-law breastfeeding her mother-in-law. With certain extremities and exaggeration, Chinese society has asserted the seemingly unreachable paradigm for women's virtuous lives that they claimed would be achieved through filial responsibilities. Regardless of class or education level, if one could follow the natural rules stated in the books of filial piety suppressing one's selfish emotions and greed, then that woman could be considered as virtuous as a filial man and as wise as a sage. As witnessed throughout this essay, women's status is elevated even to that of a king for the purpose that women's industrious work should be appreciated: "Where a woman works diligently, her family will surely rise; where a woman is lazy her family is certain to fall." The implication behind these ostensibly singular roles of women in the Chinese society is that demands on women's shoulder existed for a reason: they could use the system to take advantage of their position. Through the readings of the past week, I have discovered the actual gender difference – I dare not call it discrimination – that exists in the East Asian culture, which always seemed fuzzy and vague to me because the society and culture concealed it behind the veil of patriarchy, it is truly unique and powerful and deserves to be recognized.